Aaron Ramsey’s Celebrity Killing Spree Will Not End

English “newspaper” The Sun is claiming that every time Arsenal midfielder Aaron Ramsey scores a goal, someone famous dies. Let’s look at the facts:

February 11th, 2012: Aaron Ramsey scores against SunderlandFebruary 12th, 2012: Singer Whitney Houston found dead.

October 19th, 2011: Aaron Ramsey scores against Marseille in the Champions League.October 20th, 2011: Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi killed by rebel forces.

October 2nd, 2011: Aaron Ramsey scores in a North London Derby against Tottenham.October 5th, 2011: Apple founder Steve Jobs succumbs to pancreatic cancer.

May 1st, 2011: Aaron Ramsey scores against Manchester United.May 2nd, 2011: A Navy SEAL team kills Osama Bin Laden.

February 23rd, 2011: Aaron Ramsey scores on loan to Cardiff City.February 26th, 2011: Canadian cult leader Roch Thériault is murdered in prison while serving a sentence for murder.

October 14th, 2009: Aaron Ramsey scores his first international goal against Lichtenstein.October 15th, 2009: Josias Kumpf, former Nazi prison camp guard, dies at the age of 84 while awaiting extradition.

August 22nd, 2009: Aaron Ramsey scores his first goal for Arsenal.August 23rd, 2009: Pakistani militant and terrorist leader Baitullah Mehsud dies of injuries sustained in a drone strike.

So what can we take from this? Is Aaron Ramsey a divine tool of vengeance, striking down evil-doers across the globe with some unfortunate collateral damage? Is his power arbitrary, ending the lives of the good as well as the wicked? Is The Sun a terrible rag of a newspaper exploiting pure coincidence to fill inches?

All we know is that if this power is real, it would be far more dramatic if Robin van Persie had it.